What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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