another moral hangover. fuck.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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