hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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