And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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