My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
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We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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