all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
