Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
