Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think a kid would responsible me up
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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