they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
