break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
