We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
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My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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