Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
