We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He kissed a someone with a penis
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Randomize
