So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
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It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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