I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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