Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
