I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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