I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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