I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Blow job season was short but glorious.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
