you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
