I'm drive I can fine osifer
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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