I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
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Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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