so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
