It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Randomize
