just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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