dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
