Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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