My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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