he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
