Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
