Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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