You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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