So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
