She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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