Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
