I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
