And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
