Nicole vs. Life
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
