I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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