Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
