Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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