1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just had sex on a roof
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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