Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
