And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
