you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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