fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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