also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
