Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
