I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize