Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I puked a lego.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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