i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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