if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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