I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
