This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
