If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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