he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
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Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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