Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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