I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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