no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
